A Very Generous Gift...

Friday, November 27th, 2009 | Originally published in the MeadowLark Fall/Winter 2009 Newsletter

The Meadows recently received a very generous gift from Richard Logan Ragle, who donated a beautiful bronze sculpture. Richard drove the sculpture from New Mexico to be enjoyed by patients at The Meadows. The sculpture is displayed in The Meadows dining hall. Below is a note from Richard...

My name is Richard Logan Ragle. "Logan" is a family name. Five generations have had that name, and five generations have suffered from alcoholism. I grew up in an alcoholic home filled with neglect, abuse and insanity, all of which go along with the alcoholic system. There were all four types of abuse in our system: physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual. I choose to not say "family," because AA and ACA are now my family of choice. As it says in the ACA book, "The process of recovery (re-parenting ourselves) allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God."

I remember what I learned in recovery. The abused child will either go "less-than" (think they are useless) or "greater-than" (think they are better than) everyone else, instead of just BEING another one of our H.P. children. I went "greater-than." I thought if I was "above reproach," that no one could see or sense my shame. And who's more above reproach than a physician? I went to medical school, and I went to treatment when I was an intern. I am happy to say I have been on the path of recovery for 22 years.

Part of that path was going to "Survivors I." It helped me get in touch with my inner child and was one of the best things I have done for myself in recovery! (I still remember wearing a "Feelings Only" sign around my neck for most of the week!) I've also done Family Week and "Survivors II" at The Meadows.

My passion has always been sculpture. I carved soap blocks when I was 4. This bronze work, entitled Logan, is part of my recovery process. ∞

The poem on the plaque reads: Authoritative hand binds the tongue Repressed feelings overcome A sense of shame overwhelms As the child within waits for its champion to come.

Richard's interpretation of the poem:

It is a piece about recovery from child abuse. Logan is holding his hands to his face, grieving about the emotional turmoil in his life. The poem on the plaque says, "Authoritative hand binds the tongue"; this is represented by the hand in the back of the jaw, grasping Logan's tongue internally. The authoritative hand could be that of an abusive parent, teacher, or anyone who had a negative influence on the child. "Repressed feelings overcome": If children are not nurtured into becoming what God and they themselves want to become, or they are verbally, physically, sexually or spiritually abused, they repress their feelings. "A sense of shame overwhelms": When children are abused, they think it is their fault, they feel ashamed of whom and what they are. "The child within waits for its champion to come." This is symbolized by the child within the adult's skull. Most abused children hope that the abusive parent will eventually champion them, come to their rescue. This rarely happens! As an untreated adult, the abused inner child will seek rescue through an abusive spouse, alcohol or drugs, overeating, sex, etc. If in recovery, the healthy adult who has undergone treatment for the abuse is now the champion for the abused inner child. The healthy adult can now nurture the scared, abused child within and say, "I will now nurture you, love you, care for you in the way that you deserved as a child."

Recovery from child abuse does not proceed in a linear fashion. Wounded adult children who get treatment for child abuse can go back in time; take their wounded, abused inner child; and nurture and love them. And in so doing, they can change their current and future lives and timelines. It is never too late.