The concept of being at the center is key to our spiritual well-being. Although spiritual well-being is often associated with a state of mind, I have come to think of centeredness as having the force of a physical law of nature, like gravity or the conservation of energy. When we operate out of the center of our core issues through the practice of boundaries, our self-esteem is automatically restored. If I were to draw the wheel of human life, at its hub I would put centeredness, and the spokes that radiate out from it would be the attributes of our authentic humanity. When that wheel is put into motion by boundary practice, self-esteem is generated, and we are back at the place of authenticity, the place we reclaim as our spiritual home.

The two grand lies children hear from parents are that they are "better than" or "less than." The truth is that a child, as well as every other human on the planet, has inherent worth. It is not a quality that bears comparison. It is an absolute value, and we all have it. We differ from one another, but not in terms of inherent worth.

Unfortunately, for some of us, recess was a time of teasing or, worse, bullying. If that was your experience, substitute "recreation," "respite," or "reprieve" for the word "recess." Whatever word you choose, be sure to remember a time when you experienced a positive break. It might be a time a grandparent took you fishing, a teacher listened to your feelings, or your dog snuggled up to you when you were sad.

Throughout the centuries, people have searched for healthier ways to manage stress. Let's explore the historical perspective of one universal stress-management technique; it requires critical evaluation and assessment of thinking or cognitive appraisals. This intervention is as ancient as the beginning of mankind and is still being employed today as a means to help alleviate stress and dis-ease.

According to Aristotle, the definition for stress is "wear and tear on the body." Hans Seyle, the father of stress management, coined the terms "eustress" and "distress." Eustress means positive stress, and distress is negative stress. Any thought or behavior that generates stress is labeled a "stressor." The stressor, whether assessed as positive or negative, will determine your feelings. This claim of cognitive appraisal originated during the first century from a stoic philosopher named Epictitus. He said, "Man is not disturbed by things, but by his view of them." Twenty centuries later, we are still trying to integrate his basic concept.

A positive cognitive appraisal of most stressors is essential to developing a healthy outlook on life. As an example, marriage can conjure up thoughts of happiness or despair, depending on your frame of mind. Consequently, your perception will create your reality. If your perception is generally negative, it will impede personal growth and result in long-term distress reactions, including emotional, physical, and psychological problems.

There is a saying that floats around AA that goes: "A non-alcoholic changes his behavior to meet his goals. An alcoholic changes his goals to match his behavior." These contrasting quotes show what alcohol does to us and what AA does for us. A few simple words describe a metamorphosis so vast as to make the word "miraculous" seem inadequate.

Remember how you said you would never sink so low as to do...? When you did it, out came another "I'll never..." These "nevers" can accumulate over decades, while we sink lower and lower into our own self-disgust.

Can you see me when
alcohol has set you free?
Can you feel me when
alcohol has made you believe?

Do you want me
When floating on that alcoholic sea?
Or do you fantasize about who you
Would like to see me be?

It's a mystery to me,
the way you choose to be free.
Can't you see
the lies you believe?

My name is Richard Logan Ragle. "Logan" is a family name. Five generations have had that name, and five generations have suffered from alcoholism. I grew up in an alcoholic home filled with neglect, abuse and insanity, all of which go along with the alcoholic system. There were all four types of abuse in our system: physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual. I choose to not say "family," because AA and ACA are now my family of choice. As it says in the ACA book, "The process of recovery (re-parenting ourselves) allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God."

I remember what I learned in recovery. The abused child will either go "less-than" (think they are useless) or "greater-than" (think they are better than) everyone else, instead of just BEING another one of our H.P. children. I went "greater-than." I thought if I was "above reproach," that no one could see or sense my shame. And who's more above reproach than a physician? I went to medical school, and I went to treatment when I was an intern. I am happy to say I have been on the path of recovery for 22 years.

Sexual Recovery is a five-day workshop that examines sexual compulsive issues and behaviors. Often we do not talk about our sexual experiences because the subject carries too much shame. This workshop helps to lift the shame and resolve sexual dilemmas and self-destructive behaviors. Chief among these compulsive behaviors are:

We offer a series of programs designed to meet the needs of people new to The Meadows, who have not experienced our primary treatment, and as a source of renewal for our alumni.

Professional lectures, trainings and symposiums.

Free Lecture Series are lectures open to the community. The Meadows sponsors these lectures in various cities throughout the country. Lectures are targeted to graduates of The Meadows but are also open to the recovery community. Speakers include local therapists familiar with The Meadows' model.